sometimes, some people have their ways to make you lose your balance
and logic by making you first lose your temper…
that even when keeping your cool is naturally easy for you,
there will come a time when you'll be caught in a moment,
either you’re just too tired…physically and emotionally,
or you’re totally provoked…
and you just LOSE IT!
and when you do, consequently, you do and say things that can hurt you…
and the one you love...it’s like inviting the other person to retaliate.
but after you blew the fuse, there’s always this moment, ALWAYS...
where you can decide to diffuse it, think, and repair the damage done.
one moment you were like, Atilla the Hun,
BUT the next minute you can be Ms.Congeniality
thank God, sometimes, all it takes is to say...sorry....
Monday, August 27, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
1 Vs. 100
Whoa! Finally! Despite a hundred and one challenges, we're finally giving birth to ABS-CBN's newest and probably most expensive and most-difficult-to-mount-quiz show TONIGHT, Saturday at 7:30 p.m. Though post-production is still ongoing, I'd like to believe that the storm is over.
As soon as the music faded when we taped the last body of the pilot episode, I screamed my heart out in relief before a hundred players and audience on the set. They would never understand why because they knew nothing about what we've been through.
Just before the actual taping last night, as in the previous days, the computers, electronic gadgets and electrical wirings weren't working well, not to mention the other major problem I'd rather not discuss here. More than 200 would-be players, including celebrities, on standby waiting for their cue, getting impatient but being properly briefed; the other hundred or more we used for the dryrun earlier still cueing in line to get out of the studio. In the middle of all these were 2 strict Endemol guys getting pissed, even heard one screaming in the control booth. They were just as nervous as the entire production staff.
BUT HURRAH, WE MADE IT! When the tapes started rolling, everything went on smoothly; everyone did his job well. "The one" Aiai Delas Alas was perfect for a player, the 100 members of the MOB were perfectly cooperative, which resulted to a great game!
And what better way to end it than with a prayer where most cried in gratitude. We felt GOD's HANDS WORKING and He indeed never failed us.
I commend every single person in the team! Great job! And yes...we also thank Jarno from Endemol-Holland and Mike who's based in Bangkok for the challenge...even though our stress levels went up to the highest levels because of them. We learned so much from you! Cutie Jarno, TP and i will miss u!:)
So guys don't dare miss 1 Vs. 100...tonight and every Saturdays at 7:30 pm. Hope you'll like the show and appreciate the hardwork and efforts we've put into it. Spread the word so more people can join and be either the "1" or among the "100"!
As soon as the music faded when we taped the last body of the pilot episode, I screamed my heart out in relief before a hundred players and audience on the set. They would never understand why because they knew nothing about what we've been through.
Just before the actual taping last night, as in the previous days, the computers, electronic gadgets and electrical wirings weren't working well, not to mention the other major problem I'd rather not discuss here. More than 200 would-be players, including celebrities, on standby waiting for their cue, getting impatient but being properly briefed; the other hundred or more we used for the dryrun earlier still cueing in line to get out of the studio. In the middle of all these were 2 strict Endemol guys getting pissed, even heard one screaming in the control booth. They were just as nervous as the entire production staff.
BUT HURRAH, WE MADE IT! When the tapes started rolling, everything went on smoothly; everyone did his job well. "The one" Aiai Delas Alas was perfect for a player, the 100 members of the MOB were perfectly cooperative, which resulted to a great game!
And what better way to end it than with a prayer where most cried in gratitude. We felt GOD's HANDS WORKING and He indeed never failed us.
I commend every single person in the team! Great job! And yes...we also thank Jarno from Endemol-Holland and Mike who's based in Bangkok for the challenge...even though our stress levels went up to the highest levels because of them. We learned so much from you! Cutie Jarno, TP and i will miss u!:)
So guys don't dare miss 1 Vs. 100...tonight and every Saturdays at 7:30 pm. Hope you'll like the show and appreciate the hardwork and efforts we've put into it. Spread the word so more people can join and be either the "1" or among the "100"!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Birth Pains
People in the production know how hard it is to pilot a show. We even equate it to giving birth to a baby. And for a highly-technical show such as a game show, the labor pains are much more intense and difficult.
Imagine the technical glitches, gadget malfunctions, endless dryruns, review and changes in the mechanics, and so on and so forth. In the case of 1 Vs 100, what makes it more stressful is the close supervision of Endemol people, making sure the entire production team is 100 percent ready and that every single detail meets their standards. I'm pretty sure same thing transpired with PBB, Deal or No Deal & PDA.
It's just a day away from the actual taping of the pilot ep and four days from the "due date", i mean pilot airing of our "baby"...and I can feel the contractions progressing, getting stronger, more painful each day.
raph sorry i haven't had much time reviewing you for your exams, but at least we had a great family day yesterday with dadu!
prue and piper, miss you...did i miss out on our movie date or u didn't push thru without me?!...
and yeah i miss krisie too, right tips?
Imagine the technical glitches, gadget malfunctions, endless dryruns, review and changes in the mechanics, and so on and so forth. In the case of 1 Vs 100, what makes it more stressful is the close supervision of Endemol people, making sure the entire production team is 100 percent ready and that every single detail meets their standards. I'm pretty sure same thing transpired with PBB, Deal or No Deal & PDA.
It's just a day away from the actual taping of the pilot ep and four days from the "due date", i mean pilot airing of our "baby"...and I can feel the contractions progressing, getting stronger, more painful each day.
raph sorry i haven't had much time reviewing you for your exams, but at least we had a great family day yesterday with dadu!
prue and piper, miss you...did i miss out on our movie date or u didn't push thru without me?!...
and yeah i miss krisie too, right tips?
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Cold Stormy Night
Past 1am, amidst the heavy downpour, Regina Spektor music playing in the background, 3 charmed friends in "go-go" work mode- exhanging ideas with caffeine boost and pizza overload, surfing through the net on wi-fi...quite perfect, except for the cig smoke...but would you rather do anythin else?
In jest i blurted out: "do you know what i wanna do at this very moment?" ...at this night, so cold and yeah...just that, cold!
I'd rather not think about it!
I've been up since 6am. Headed to a video shoot where everyone's excuse to be late was validated because of the heavy rain. But despite the delays, we finished on schedule. And the shoot went on smoothly. Luis and Anne and Direk Jillm were a breeze to work with, so everyone on the set had fun "bumpin' and burnin'"!
Before 7pm, i headed to the studio for the dryrun of a new show...again, there were delays, but this time it's due to some technical difficulties. The set and the technology combined is awesome!
And oh, after that, segue to Stickdreams...and now, still here working on a project we so eagerly want to close with a client. Amidst heavy rains when all you wanna do is cuddle in bed...but this night will just be that...stormy and cold!
In jest i blurted out: "do you know what i wanna do at this very moment?" ...at this night, so cold and yeah...just that, cold!
I'd rather not think about it!
I've been up since 6am. Headed to a video shoot where everyone's excuse to be late was validated because of the heavy rain. But despite the delays, we finished on schedule. And the shoot went on smoothly. Luis and Anne and Direk Jillm were a breeze to work with, so everyone on the set had fun "bumpin' and burnin'"!
Before 7pm, i headed to the studio for the dryrun of a new show...again, there were delays, but this time it's due to some technical difficulties. The set and the technology combined is awesome!
And oh, after that, segue to Stickdreams...and now, still here working on a project we so eagerly want to close with a client. Amidst heavy rains when all you wanna do is cuddle in bed...but this night will just be that...stormy and cold!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
LoOking BAck, MOving FOrward...
In life, in order to move forward, you have to look back…
Not to live in the past, but to go back to where you’ve been
Take with you a part of it that’s worth rememberin’
And leave behind things to be forgotten!
I’m moving on…but this is a long journey
Of self-imposed healing and recovery
And the hardest part is in forgiving—
those who've wounded every fragment of my being.
This is an arduous process…
The first step is to forgive myself –
for the wrong choices,
for the bad decisions I've made along the way.
In life, in order to move forward, you have to go back…
Not to dwell on the past,
but to look back with a smile…
and radiate the beauty of your heart.
Not to live in the past, but to go back to where you’ve been
Take with you a part of it that’s worth rememberin’
And leave behind things to be forgotten!
I’m moving on…but this is a long journey
Of self-imposed healing and recovery
And the hardest part is in forgiving—
those who've wounded every fragment of my being.
This is an arduous process…
The first step is to forgive myself –
for the wrong choices,
for the bad decisions I've made along the way.
In life, in order to move forward, you have to go back…
Not to dwell on the past,
but to look back with a smile…
and radiate the beauty of your heart.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
SALAMAT...THANK YOU...MUCHAS GRACIAS!
"If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is 'Thank you God', that would suffice." --Meister Eckhart
I’ve read an article entitled “Thank You” by my idol Oprah Winfrey (thanks to Jillm). It’s about being grateful for everything … from the “littlest” or smallest pleasures to things too important to be taken for granted. Oprah shared how she has learned the value of gratefulness courtesy of her friend and mentor Maya Angelou.
Here’s a part of the article:
I live in the space of thankfulness - and I have been rewarded a million times over for it. I started out giving thanks for small things, and the more thankful I became, the more my bounty increased. That's because what you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life.
I got so inspired that I want to emulate her. She said she keeps a Gratitude Journal where she lists at least 5 things she’s grateful for each day.
So hopefully I’ll be able to do this everyday. For today, i came out with 8, here’s my own thank-you list…
1. an enjoyable breakfast and early morning conversations and kulitan with my 2 superboys
2. sweet kisses and hugs from my honey Raph (never fail to brighten up my day)
3. being able to give Raph his anticipated “surprise” for the day and seeing him all-smiles upon receiving it (actually I failed to buy his requested gummy bear as pasalubong last night and since he was already asleep when I came home, he eagerly asked for it this morning, so I secretly asked ate josie to buy one at a nearby grocery, hehe)
4. having this day off- bonding time with Raph while surfing the net, once in a while
5. a new project/show (got a surprise call yesterday from the EP of the upcoming game show “1 Vs. 100” and told me to come to the studio because I’m now part of the Creative Team)
6. receiving money from beh for the house bills and food/groceries (and yey! i have personal allowance too! gives me a "housewifey" feeling)
7. late evening chat with friends Prue and Piper (and Mappin too) last night (issue 101: my lips are sealed!)
8. writing this blog to share my joy to everyone
For everything and more, God THANK YOU!
I’ve read an article entitled “Thank You” by my idol Oprah Winfrey (thanks to Jillm). It’s about being grateful for everything … from the “littlest” or smallest pleasures to things too important to be taken for granted. Oprah shared how she has learned the value of gratefulness courtesy of her friend and mentor Maya Angelou.
Here’s a part of the article:
I live in the space of thankfulness - and I have been rewarded a million times over for it. I started out giving thanks for small things, and the more thankful I became, the more my bounty increased. That's because what you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life.
I got so inspired that I want to emulate her. She said she keeps a Gratitude Journal where she lists at least 5 things she’s grateful for each day.
So hopefully I’ll be able to do this everyday. For today, i came out with 8, here’s my own thank-you list…
1. an enjoyable breakfast and early morning conversations and kulitan with my 2 superboys
2. sweet kisses and hugs from my honey Raph (never fail to brighten up my day)
3. being able to give Raph his anticipated “surprise” for the day and seeing him all-smiles upon receiving it (actually I failed to buy his requested gummy bear as pasalubong last night and since he was already asleep when I came home, he eagerly asked for it this morning, so I secretly asked ate josie to buy one at a nearby grocery, hehe)
4. having this day off- bonding time with Raph while surfing the net, once in a while
5. a new project/show (got a surprise call yesterday from the EP of the upcoming game show “1 Vs. 100” and told me to come to the studio because I’m now part of the Creative Team)
6. receiving money from beh for the house bills and food/groceries (and yey! i have personal allowance too! gives me a "housewifey" feeling)
7. late evening chat with friends Prue and Piper (and Mappin too) last night (issue 101: my lips are sealed!)
8. writing this blog to share my joy to everyone
For everything and more, God THANK YOU!
Friday, August 10, 2007
a poem for PIPER
mysterious…exciting…
almost there,
but seems nowhere
it keeps you guessing,
how do you know if it’s real?
sometimes you wanna ignore
sometimes you're asking for more
when he’s around,
he does make you smile
when he’s not there,
you think you don’t care
absence makes the heart grow fonder
so never say “never”
who knows…hmm,
i can only ponder.
almost there,
but seems nowhere
it keeps you guessing,
how do you know if it’s real?
sometimes you wanna ignore
sometimes you're asking for more
when he’s around,
he does make you smile
when he’s not there,
you think you don’t care
absence makes the heart grow fonder
so never say “never”
who knows…hmm,
i can only ponder.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
a poem for PRUE
don't think twice...
do whatever can revive your life
you owe it to yourself
you deserve a respite from that nightmare
prue, you’re one hell of a fighter
just be sure to choose your battles
it's okay to back off!
but knowing you—
for now that's not an option
so hold on to your sanity,
you'll make it through…
Haha! “Welcome to the ZOO!”
do whatever can revive your life
you owe it to yourself
you deserve a respite from that nightmare
prue, you’re one hell of a fighter
just be sure to choose your battles
it's okay to back off!
but knowing you—
for now that's not an option
so hold on to your sanity,
you'll make it through…
Haha! “Welcome to the ZOO!”
the SeCrET
what's the secret to "the Secret"?
i'm excited to discover,
i'm excited to see.
i'm beginning to explore a new perspective on life
and it feels like the universe conspires
to help me attract happiness, health and abundance
i'm armed not with some kind of magic spell
but with the power of doubtless, positive thoughts...
if this is the world in store for me
i'm certainly, positively IN!
i'll start reading the book today
jilm, thanks for sharing it with me.
i'm excited to discover,
i'm excited to see.
i'm beginning to explore a new perspective on life
and it feels like the universe conspires
to help me attract happiness, health and abundance
i'm armed not with some kind of magic spell
but with the power of doubtless, positive thoughts...
if this is the world in store for me
i'm certainly, positively IN!
i'll start reading the book today
jilm, thanks for sharing it with me.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
On STaRtiNG OvEr
i think i'm ALivE again.
i wanna SOaR...i wanna fLY high
i'm dying to have the SUnsHiNe
back into my LifE.
i wanna be GoOd again and
embrace my fREeDOm--
freedom to LoVE with all my hEaRt,
without jUDgEmeNt, without rEseRvAtIOns.
to my SuPErMAn...
THaNk YoU for making me uNdErsTanD...
in your SilEnCe you made me ReALizE
that to HoLd you,
i must OpEn uP my hands
and watch you RiSE.
i wanna SOaR...i wanna fLY high
i'm dying to have the SUnsHiNe
back into my LifE.
i wanna be GoOd again and
embrace my fREeDOm--
freedom to LoVE with all my hEaRt,
without jUDgEmeNt, without rEseRvAtIOns.
to my SuPErMAn...
THaNk YoU for making me uNdErsTanD...
in your SilEnCe you made me ReALizE
that to HoLd you,
i must OpEn uP my hands
and watch you RiSE.
wonderin'
i’m wonderin’
what’s happening
everything between us
has gone astray
is it hate or indifference
or just a twist of fate
i’m wonderin’…
can u lend me a hand
and make me understand
what’s going on,
what’s running on your mind
day by day I keep wonderin’
the silence between us is deafening…
i can’t feel you,
can’t get through you
makes me wonder,
though I’m sober
is it worth losin’ my mind over?
i’m wonderin’…
piper, u think we can make this into a song? get the chords and put music into my thoughts. my lyrics may be too simple but who knows we can probably create a nice song...why not? haha!
what’s happening
everything between us
has gone astray
is it hate or indifference
or just a twist of fate
i’m wonderin’…
can u lend me a hand
and make me understand
what’s going on,
what’s running on your mind
day by day I keep wonderin’
the silence between us is deafening…
i can’t feel you,
can’t get through you
makes me wonder,
though I’m sober
is it worth losin’ my mind over?
i’m wonderin’…
piper, u think we can make this into a song? get the chords and put music into my thoughts. my lyrics may be too simple but who knows we can probably create a nice song...why not? haha!
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
40 Days and a Lifetime...
Today we remember the 40th day since dad passed away. Offered prayers for his soul during yesterday’s mass and especially dedicated the 6am mass for him today at the Transfiguration of Our Lord Parish Church.
While in the mass, I couldn’t hold back my tears. In my mind were flashes of my dad’s images when he was still in the hospital. The first image was when he was being transferred to the ICU after he underwent a dialysis and the next was when he was being brought out of there already covered with a white sheet of blanket.
I remember, we were on the way to the hospital with my sisters, just around 15-20 minutes away, when my Kuya called that our father already joined his Creator. I was shocked yet there was no tear that flowed from my eyes. Everything just shut off!
And then came to mind those moments when he was really in pain, overly anxious and wanted to remove all the apparatus attached to him in the ICU. So vivid that I wanted to forget that part in my memory…It was not easy to let go but when I think of the way he had suffered, along with it came the strength to make me accept God’s will. Losing him (and mom 2 years ago) made me discovered strength I didn’t know I had.
But when you think you're feeling strong, the pain just creeps back up to you.
The problem with grief is, it stays, it doesn’t ever leave you. Losing someone, as your parents, is not something you get “over” with. There’s no definite grieving period, not 40 days, not a year or so, maybe a lifetime. I think about them EVERYDAY, alone or not, moreso when I see other people’s parents around. I wish they stayed a little bit more. I hope I made life happier for them. I wish they spent more time with Raphael to watch him grow and make them proud...and so on.
For now, the only way to make my grief meaningful is to learn how to really live- make each day count, be a good parent myself, build a family that is based on love. I'm proud that my parents were able to celebrate their golden wedding anniversary in their lifetime, a feat they have achieved out of genuine love and commitment to each other. Tough act to follow, but who knows. . .oh well, that’s another story!
While in the mass, I couldn’t hold back my tears. In my mind were flashes of my dad’s images when he was still in the hospital. The first image was when he was being transferred to the ICU after he underwent a dialysis and the next was when he was being brought out of there already covered with a white sheet of blanket.
I remember, we were on the way to the hospital with my sisters, just around 15-20 minutes away, when my Kuya called that our father already joined his Creator. I was shocked yet there was no tear that flowed from my eyes. Everything just shut off!
And then came to mind those moments when he was really in pain, overly anxious and wanted to remove all the apparatus attached to him in the ICU. So vivid that I wanted to forget that part in my memory…It was not easy to let go but when I think of the way he had suffered, along with it came the strength to make me accept God’s will. Losing him (and mom 2 years ago) made me discovered strength I didn’t know I had.
But when you think you're feeling strong, the pain just creeps back up to you.
The problem with grief is, it stays, it doesn’t ever leave you. Losing someone, as your parents, is not something you get “over” with. There’s no definite grieving period, not 40 days, not a year or so, maybe a lifetime. I think about them EVERYDAY, alone or not, moreso when I see other people’s parents around. I wish they stayed a little bit more. I hope I made life happier for them. I wish they spent more time with Raphael to watch him grow and make them proud...and so on.
For now, the only way to make my grief meaningful is to learn how to really live- make each day count, be a good parent myself, build a family that is based on love. I'm proud that my parents were able to celebrate their golden wedding anniversary in their lifetime, a feat they have achieved out of genuine love and commitment to each other. Tough act to follow, but who knows. . .oh well, that’s another story!
Saturday, August 4, 2007
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