when you need friends...

Are you familiar with Biblicard? It's a compilation of selected Bible verses written on small flash cards. I got mine- God's Promises Version in New Year of 2001 as a gift from Ate Lucille, a co-Balitang K writer then. I kept and used it since then.

It's like a handy help to find an answer from God's Word for every problem or human need, that's why every card comes with a distinct situationer. Whatever your need is, or whatever situation you are in, there's an answer from God's word. When you feel tempted, when you face separation, when you feel angry, when you face doubts, when you face grief, when you feel rebellious...and so on and so forth.

A minute ago, i randomly picked one card and what i got was a card pertaining to - "when you need friends"... and written on it is God's promise on finding friends: My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what i command. -John 15:12-14

I claim God's promise that He is my friend. With a friend like Jesus, how can you go wrong? Honestly, I feel so blessed with friends and I want to believe that I have this gift of keeping long-lasting friendships. Though I'm oceans and thousands of miles apart from most of them, the bond that keeps us connected is ever present.

Up to this day, I have remained close to friends I've met way way back I was 7. On top of mind is Bennet. Sadly for me, she and her family moved to Vancouver, Canada last year. She is Raph's Ninang, and her daughter Jodee is my inaanak too. She works for the DFA and was assigned at the Philippine Consular Office in Vancouver. Geographically, she and Airis, our common barkada in High School, are closer now. Airis has migrated to Toronto, Canada after she got married in 2001. When I went to Toronto early this year, I never passed the chance to see her again, of course with her hubby and two lovely daughters. She was so accomodating and though the time we spent together was not much, we surely had fun! On the other hand, our other friend Zerlene is now in Australia after working in Singapore for years with her husband. They already got their kids too.

Jet, one of my closest buddies in College, my thesismate and Raph's Ninang, has moved to Sidney, Australia last year also with her family. She's enjoying her new-found life there as a fulltime mom to her 2 daughters Cole & Audrey, my inaanak. She wishes that I'll be moving there too sometime in the future because when they were still applying for migration, she was already convincing me to follow suit.

Aga, also a College friend and barkada, has been in Singapore since 2002 I think. Closer to home at least! Last time we saw each other was in Feb. this year. Her 1 year-old daughter Anika is also my inaanak.

Another bestfriend of mine Mitch is leaving soon. She is moving to Dubai to join her husband who has been working there. I wonder how life would be without her- my prayerful friend, my churchmate and constant shoulder to cry on.

Thank God there's technology to help nurture relationships of people from different parts of the globe. YM, emails and text messaging have kept me connected and updated with my friends pronto! Indeed, there is no distance too great between friends. Yes i miss my old friends but true to our experience, what true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

If there are friends of mine who are thousands and thousands miles apart from me, I have been blessed too with true friends whose physical and emotional presence are always at hand...whose loyalty and reliability are tried and tested. Evette and Otep, I thank God for you! I have more sunshiny days because of you.

A true friendship, unlike love, always lasts forever. People even say that for marriage to last, couples should, first and foremost, be the best of friends, because it is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. I wonder what is more worse, life without love or life without friendship?

My Superboy's Multiply Site

Anything but Ordinary

my charmed friends gave me my name Paige, but if i were to choose a charmed character, it would actually be Prue, because i soo love Shannen Doherty since her beverly hills 90210 days...but since it's really otep who's a diehard and authentic charmed fan, he deserves to be called Prue more than anyone.

thanks anyway for welcoming me into your charmed world. though i'm not as rebellious as paige, we're both independent and strong-willed...and we both have telekinetic orbing and glamouring powers... i wish!

i'd rather be anything but ordinary...as the song goes. (make sure to pause or turn down the volume of my music to enjoy Paige’s video :)

Charmed-All About Paige

Anything but Ordinary

Mom, is it Christmas yet?

He's been bugging me to put up the Christmas tree and light up the house with Christmas lights as early as now. I think it started when he saw the neighbor's Christmas tree prominently displayed inside their sala. And when on our way home last Saturday night he saw a few houses adorn with Christmas lights. Yesterday after school, I opened the car window and he said, he can already feel the Christmas air. How can a 4 year-old think about saying that? This morning, while still in bed, he was singing a Christmas tune. Aaawww...there's no denying, Christmas fever has struck my little boy. And I think that is sooo cute!

Since this weekend, he's been browsing the Toy Kingdom magazine showing me and his dadu what gift he will ask from his Ninang Evette. (Ninang Evette told him they would shop for his gift at Toy Kingdom, he never forgot that! Hehe) He also got ecstatic when he saw a remote-controlled airplane- the one tito Otep earlier promised him. And two weeks back, when I shopped for a gift for my inaanak's christening at Rustan's, he looked over the toys and picked three he likes. No he didn't pushed me to buy them right away, he just said, those are the gifts he would want me, his dad, and his Tita Ninang to give him for Christmas.

I told him 3 months to go and it's Christmas Day...it seems he's like doing a countdown each day, asking me "Mom, is it Christmas yet?" I think we might start decorating the house a bit sooner this year. Last year we did it first week of December already. Putting up the Christmas tree is really a fun family thing-y for us. Every year, we'd change the theme, at least the color motiff. Last year, Raph was already involved in fixing the tree and choosing other Christmas stuffs. His dad even bought a Sta. Claus decor that lights up the front door for Raph's delight.

Christmas is really for the children...and since we had him, our Christmas was never the same again! He made me and his dad feel and understand what "Merry Christmas" is all about. He made us look forward to the occasion much much more. Last year was a blast for Raph because we were able to spend our Christmas break in HK, where of course we got to spend a day at Disneyland. Who could be more excited than Raph? Up to this day, he still remembers every bit of detail he saw and experienced there, the sights, the rides, and everything else (exactly the way he said it). How he loved the Disney fireworks, how he enjoyed seeing Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Buzz Lightyear, etc...even the Lion King production which,at first I felt, is more for the older ones, he was just 3 then.

He also keeps a brochure of Disneyland Florida which he hopes to go to in the future. We originally thought of going to the US this Christmas and visit his cousins there, or go back to Canada, but I think that would be put on hold for now. A lot of unexpected things have happened this year that made us change our plans. But one thing is for sure, we're gonna make Christmas a grand happy time for our lovey little boy. I can almost hear him say..."Mom, is it Christmas yet?"

Perfect!

Sept.13, Thursday:
It was a pretty ordinary day, but I was feeling nervous. Raph's Progress Report for the First Trimester would be distributed today. I guess moms will always be like that. When it concerns her child, it's always a BIG DEAL!

I made sure I was already at the waiting area in time for their dismissal. As always, he had this BIG smile on his face everytime he'd see me there ready to give him a BIG HUG. He was carrying the green envelop with all his test papers and the Report Card inside. I was anxious to open it right away, and what a delight! I was greeted by a couple of test papers with perfect scores. His report card is predominantly marked VS equivalent to 90%, the highest grade given during the first grading period as told by the teacher, except for the Computer subject where he got an even higher mark- HS or Highly Satisfactory.


Raph, Dadu & Mom are so proud of you! Keep up the good work! Your grades though aren't all who you are. We're just so happy you're enjoying your preschool while being good at it. You even surpassed our expectations having been awarded Outstanding Pupil last year. But remember, high grades or not, WE LOVE YOU PERIOD and you will always be perfect in our eyes.

Happy Birthday Chairman!

I was in Toronto, Canada when he replaced Kris Aquino, just temporarily then, on GKNB last March. When I reported back to work, he even joked at me- “So ganon, kung kelan mo lang gusto pumasok!” He didn’t know I came from out-of-the country to attend to my mother-in-law’s funeral.

That was the first time I got to work with him. He was extra nice, always jolly and very funny. He certainly gave a different flavor to the show but still, everyone in the staff and I anticipated Kris would be back in the show later on… but as they say the rest is history. Sir Doods or Chairman as we call him is now our permanent host after Kris decided to leave the show for good. Now, Sir Doods even has a gold record album to his name, carrying the household tune Papaya which the studio players and televiewers all love to dance to. Add to that, a new game show 1 Vs. 100 which I am also a part of.

Why am I writing about him? Because it’s his birthday tomorrow! And I will never forget that I was made to dance on national TV along with the whole production team of Game KNB, because we wanted to surprise him. I still cringe at the thought – all for the love of Sir Doods! The fun part is we’ve all learned to just enjoy and make fun of ourselves the way he does it on the show.

I love and still miss Krisie, and no one will replace that spot in my heart. She and Edu are both uniquely loveable and special. And I’d probably do the same thing for her, just for the love of her!

On Kids and Friendships

Meet my latest inaanak Shein, with her mom- my Kumare Lani! So adorable! Attended her baptism last Saturday, Sept.8 at the Sacred Heart of Jesus Parish, QC. (I wonder how many inaanaks do I have now, will try to keep track in time for Christmas.)


Brought along Raph (Ronan to his classmates & teachers). He was so happy to see his friends/classmates Garth & GM at the church. Shein is Garth's baby sister. Met her mom- Lani last year at DML Montessori, our sons' preschool. We, along with GM's mom Tess, became really close. We used to call ourselves "the terrible 2s" because all of our birthdates fall on the 2nd day of the month: Lani-Aug2, Tess-Sept2 and of course Me-Dec2. Both Lani and Tess are full-time moms, while I am a hectic working mom. But of course, I do manage to bring Raph to and from school. When Lani gave birth to Shein last May, she stopped accompanying Garth to school, our communication was constant though. We'd have occasional quick lunches while waiting for our sons, and of course we never miss important school events.

Our friendship of just more than a year now is growing. The three of us have relied on one another countless times. We were initially binded by our sons, but now that we're "kumares", I guess even when our sons go to different big schools later on, we will still be friends.
[Garth,Raph & GM]
Next year, sad to say, GM is transferring to Xavier School because his Chinese grandparents want him to move to a Chinese School. Garth and Raph are staying in DML for one more year, and hopefully both of them will study Prep and onwards in Ateneo together. They say friendships that are developed in childhood years are meant to last. I believe so, one of my best friends Bennet was my friend since Grade 1. Although it's too early to tell, hope Raph has already found real friends in Garth & GM as how their moms have.

ALMOST...but not quite

heard something from the horse’s mouth…somethin’ strange, an old item but quite surprising for me.

when the topic was brought up, the guy said, “hindi naging kami” –how can that be possible? everyone in the circle knew they were an item. i was there, i witnessed how these two “friends” clicked and blossomed into “lovers.”

there was no need for a literal declaration. they sooo looked good together, and in love. was it real? maybe not, because after a while, they just fell apart. don’t exactly know how it ended, but to begin with, the impression their common friends got was, there was something romantic going on between them.

and now the guy is saying they never were “together!” huh? does he have issues? unfinished business? or maybe both of them felt that way, and we just assumed. but at one point, we even thought that in the end, they may hook up together again. but having heard such statement from the guy, the way he said it, i don't think so.

i dunno! how will my girl friend kaya react if she finds out this story. honestly, it may not mean anything to her anymore...still, i'm bothered. and although the two and the circle are now history, STILL, i’m wonderin'…an “almost-but-not-quite romance” was all there was? maybe so, but i suppose, it was good while it lasted.

"therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." (mark 11:24)

"you may ask ME for anything in My Name, and I will do it." (john 14:14)

my superboy...my joy, my LIFE!

Goodbye.

After years of partnership and togetherness, we just parted ways. I was somehow prepared to let him go a few days back, but I guess no one is ever really prepared for goodbyes…because right now I’m beginning to miss him. Running in my mind are my fond memories of him and with him.

It happened at Taste of LA last Friday, after a glass of red wine and too much of oysters and pizza, the break-up transpired. It was planned but so abrupt, there was no chance to bid sweet goodbyes, I took the front door while he was parked at the back area. He probably didn’t see it coming this soon. We came there together on a happy note, but left at opposite directions.

Admittedly that night, at the back of my mind, nothing was final yet. But after much thought now, it really is time to let go! Though I still want to, for now, we won’t see each other again. It’s probably best this way.

Yet all of a sudden, a restrained pain is setting in. There's a tinge, not of regret, but of sadness. Yes our relationship wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t perfect, he had his flaws and wasn’t always reliable. But no doubt, I love(d) him! We’ve been through a lot together, through joys and pains, success and frustrations, adventures and mishaps, sunshines and rains. We’ve actually weathered all kinds of storms. Our years of being together were also filled with laughters, sobs, rage, music and silence. But we knew from the beginning, our partnership won't last forever.

I will surely miss him…and i will cherish the time we spent together. I feel sorry, but I guess I just have to accept that we’re over!

It was definitely an emotional roller-coaster ride…but it’s time to move on…and face each day without him.

Adios my RVR!

(Fyi...RVR is our old Mitsubishi car/wagon which we traded in for a Pajero because we needed a bigger car/SUV...most people got so concerned thinking i had a separation from my hubby...NOPE, it wasn't that melodramatic than you think:))

Stuck?

Have you ever felt stuck?

Stuck in a moment you can't get out of? Hoping later would be better?
Or worse...stuck in a relationship you can't get out of? Confused if by tomorrow this should be over?

Have you ever driven and joined a convoy? Where you can't move any faster than the slowest vehicle in the line?

What if the slowest vehicle in the line is your partner? Do you slow down or pick up speed? What if you don't know where you're going or which direction to take? Would you keep at your partner's speed and harm the whole convoy?

Have you ever got stuck in that kind of relationship? Where your partner lags behind? And doesn’t want to grow, doesn’t want to work at your relationship, and doesn’t want to resolve the issues that have come between the two of you. He controls the speed, but would you shift gears and speed up? Maybe...if it were that simple and easy.

But whether you like it or not... whether by circumstance or by choice, we do get stuck sometimes.
And worse is, at a certain point, it feels...damn if you do, damn if you don't!

back to blogging

i think i'm missing something! it's been a week...my last entry was last saturday, although i only got to post it the next day.
blogging is addicting i must admit. i missed writing..i missed expressing my thoughts. i got one draft and hesitated on posting it. afraid my charmed bestfriends might start asking questions? not really...i just didn't like the ending, parang bitin! (will post it soon.)

to top it all, my laptop is not cooperating well, it suddenly got so super sloooooww. it's frustrating! hate it now! i need a new one but i'm not gonna buy one, not in my priority, besides i can always borrow beh's laptop. it's just that recently, he's been bringing it to work though he has a pc in his office. there's another pc at home but we haven't been using it for i think more than 6 months or a year now. it's raph's pc but he likes using the laptop anyway, that's why the desktop is left untouched. i don't think it's working well now. might as well dispose it. no one's using it anyway. buyers anyone? hehe

lazy saturday! no work yahoo! love it! wanted to do movie marathon or watch dvd, but since it's "no tv-no toys" for raph since yesterday, it will be unfair if i watch tv or dvd. i got dadu's permission to watch my show 1vs100 later though. why the punishment? haay that's another story. parenting is a complicated matter! will write about it next time. it's fun BUT hard to be a parent indeed!

anyway, i'm using jilm's black MacBook here in his room. (good to be neighbors!) ganda! when will i be a Mac user kaya? though i have no apprehension about using Mac, and everyone has shifted to Mac already, i'm a Microsoft user forever. oh well maybe just for the time being.

and for now, while jilm is not using his Mac, i'll grab the chance to make up for the lost time i haven't explored mine and the halliwell's blogs. piper, prue, leo, miss yah!